Tuesday, October 9, 2007

One is FUN!


A few dozen new toys, and a million calories later, we survived the big First Birthday weekend. Baby J was in top form, and loved having all the attention, even if he did get a little overwhelmed and cry when we sang Happy Birthday! Ooops!

With all the worry that we've been through over his hearing lately, we decided that we had to have a big party to celebrate his birthday and focus on all the positives with him, and there are many. I want to look back on this stage in his life and remember it as a happy time, not an anxious time. A time full of the changes we're seeing in Baby J, and the excitement of each new milestone he reaches.

This little man is such a bundle of fun, and is really starting to come out of his shell and hold his own against his sister. Before now, due to Miss E being much more vocal and demanding of our attention, Baby J tended to be a bit of a passive observer really. I feel guilty periodically that I don't seem to give him the same amount of attention as Miss E got at that stage, and that I take advantage of his easy going nature and let him amuse himself perhaps too much. People assure me that this is the normal dynamic in a home with more than one child, but I still feel guilty.

These days, he's getting very vocal. Babbling away, and having full scale 'conversations' with himself every morning in his crib - I hear him over the monitor. I am focusing on these as very good signs that as of now his hearing is plenty good enough, and that he is definitely in line with normal speech development. He is even attempting 'Bye Bye' which sounds more like 'Buh Ba' accompanied by his waving arm.

Several people have asked for updates on our ongoing journey to get to the bottom of J's hearing tests. So far we have had CT scans come back clear, and blood testing reveal that he has a genetic cause for the already identified hearing loss. What we still do not know at this point is what exactly this means in practical terms for J, and what the prognosis is. He has to go through another sedated hearing test next week which will reveal if we are now dealing with hearing loss in his right ear, too. If this is the case it will be a very worrying development and I'm pretty anxious about it. We also meet with clinical geneticists and a pediatric neurologist this month. What exactly they will do, I have no idea. We are just going through with all of the audiologists recommendations in the hope that we get to the bottom of it, determine exactly what we are dealing with and we ask God for the grace to deal with the outcomes along the way. To be honest, I have no idea whether these visits with all these 'ologists' (count them - pediatric neurologist, audiologist, otolaryngologist, speech and language pathologist), is standard protocol following the diagnosis of sensorineuro hearing loss, or if they really suspect that J has issues in all of these areas! It's been a little overwhelming to say the least - but I am now armed with a folder, written questions for each doctor and a determination to leave no stone unturned in terms of finding out what's wrong and what we can do about it.

At this point, I am trying my best to focus on all these positives, and hope for the best - that is that this hearing issue remains as minor as it is now, and does not progressively deteriorate. At the same time, I have to try and prepare myself for news that I don't really want to hear in the hope that I can accept it and move forward positively for Baby J.

Above all, I do not want J to ever feel sad about this, or feel that he is or will be disadvantaged in any way. I want him to see me as a mother who will take on the world on his behalf, and later take it on with him, so that even later he can go out there and take it on himself!

17 comments:

Deborah said...

Annie - So glad you had a lovely day! You deserve it!

Don't worry about feeling guilty, it will even itself out. Soon Miss E will be much more self-sufficient and J will be getting in to everything and you'll tend to leave her to her own devices! At least that seems to be how it's working here right now. I think we have the same age gap, I'm just 8 months ahead! ;-)

As for all the hearing stuff you are dealing really well and doing everything right. I wonder if they could refer you to a support group, or maybe there's something online, that would allow you guys to speak with other parents who've been through it all. Just to give you an idea of whats normal and what to expect or not to expect. He's in my thoughts and prayers as always! Take care!

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

Happy birthday! What a big boy!

As an SLP, I think it is standard procedure, Sounds like your "ologists" are covering all the bases.

Christine said...

Happy Special Day to the both of you!

I don't think there is much we can do for our kids than show them how much we value them...your being such a strong advocate for him is doing just that.

melody is slurping life said...

So glad J had a happy birthday, despite what must have been horrid singing to make him cry. :)

I'll keep J in thoughts and prayers regarding the hearing problems.

Feener said...

happy bday !! you sound like you have such a handle on the hearing stuff. good luck with it all, you guys are in my thoughts.

Jessica @ A Bushel and a Peck said...

I'm so glad you had a good day! I have the same issues/feelings with my two--Sunshine is the squeaky wheel so she gets the grease, and it seems like Deuteronomy ends up getting less attention. But he's starting to speak up and hold his own, and we are able to have more one-on-one time lately. It sounds like we are in similar places in our lives--
I will keep praying for Baby J, and I am sending my best good luck that all turns out well!

laurie said...

blooming, that is one happy baby. that baby is not disadvantaged in any way! happy birthday to him, and good luck with whatever the tests show you.

he'll be fine. more than fine. he'll be great!

pinks & blues girls said...

How wonderful that he had such a great first birthday! Thank you for the update on his hearing. You are such a terrific mother - and he knows that! :)

Jane, Pinks & Blues

Serina Hope said...

Looks like a lovely party. He is such a cutie. I think you are an awesome Mom from what I read here. I will keep you guys in my prayers.

~JJ! said...

Oh! One is fun...

Happy Happy!!!

lady macleod said...

You listen to me, with a set of loving parents, and a fierce mother such as yourself that young man will do fine! No matter the results of the test, lack of hearing is not something we would want but having moved in the deaf community I can tell you it stops none of my deaf friends. There are new developments medically every day; you do your own research and keep those doctors on their toes. Mercy, it's a good thing I have no strong opinions eh?

Happy Day to the little chap, and I know he will have many more!

JaniceNW said...

You go girl! Advocating in the medical world can be tough and frustrating. I wish you the best. Great photos of your now 1 yo.

Jen M. said...

Happy birthday!!!

You're such a great mom - keep it up.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

What a good mother you are, annie. I'm a bit teary-eyed reading this. I feel maternal toward you, you know, like you're a little sis to me. I want to tell you that everything is going to be OK. You've done wonderful things for that lad, and you will reap the benefits 1000 times over. Happy Day to all your family.

andi said...

That picture is priceless. I haven't met a one-year-old yet that made it through his or her birthday without tears.

Joeprah said...

He is very grateful, I am sure, that he has such a loving family around him. Best of luck with all you are going through.

Shauna Loves Chocolate said...

You totally deserve a wonderful day.