Friday, April 27, 2007

Pass me a beer - please!

PMSing my way through the day - watching the clock until 'Daddy' gets home, let me tell you about my day!

Well, it really started yesterday - with me feeling irritated by this:

And it took IMing with my chum Megan, who is a way 'funner' mom than I, to realize my two year old was only enjoying herself. Megan, crazy lady that she is, says she is going to let her son squeeze all the toothpaste out of the tube just because it is fun! (it's okay, I pointed out her error in judgement, that it wouldn't be fun for him since she was allowing him to do it!) So, in the scheme of things, the toothpaste thing was no big deal, really, I shouldn't have left the bathroom door open - clean up and move on!

Today we had a fun playdate planned at an indoor playground (you know the kind - lots of climbing areas, ball pits, and lots, and lots of screaming kids!). Scrambling as usual to get somewhere on time Running a little behind schedule, I decided not to lose precious minutes by swinging by the ATM on my way there (thank you hubby dearest for cleaning out the $30 I had in my purse last night!), I decided I'll just pay with the debit card when I get there. So we get there, go to pay, open the purse .... NO DEBIT CARD! Frantically searching my purse for the debit card, and loose change, I scrape together two dollar bills, and the rest in coins for our $3.20 entrance fee. Major embarrassment of having no cash or other means of payment averted, but where the heck was my debit card?

We proceeded into the danger play zone, I parked the baby up in the stroller and asked one of the other moms to keep an eye on Miss E for a minute or two while I called the bank.

Called the bank - 'we can't help you, you need to speak to "Customer Service", I'll put you through' - rolling my eyes I think to myself 'whatever'. Get through to Customer Service and the unbelievably annoying recorded greeting asks me for my telephone ID number (don't have one), OR card number - don't have that either!!! After listening to several rounds of 'say or press 1 for this, say or press 2 for that and say or press 3 for the other', I was damn near ready to scream or press '666' and see if I didn't have a better chance of talking to a PERSON! Of course - the reason I had several rounds of this, is that the IVR system (Interactive Voice Response - I used to work in a bank, and I used to think these were a great invention!) is so sensitive that it picked up the noise of the kids screaming in the background and misinterpreted it as something I said so we stumbled through a few robotic 'I'm sorry, I didn't catch that, would you like to hear your options again?' No I F***ing wouldn't just put me through to a HUMAN! Eventually, I get to talk to a sickeningly cheerful lady - but I'm not complaining since I was feeling anything but cheerful at that point, she probably kept me from going completely over the edge. Go through a million questions with her and now have peace of mind that nobody is going to steal from our paltry coffers. It'll be a pain waiting for that new card though!

So having sorted the card business out I see the other moms happily snapping pictures of the kids having a blast - and Miss E was having THE best time so my inner peace was (temporarily) restored. I get my camera out - switch it on - batteries are dead! So, inwardly uttering a few expletives and self admonitions, I forgot about it, knowing I can get the other moms to email me some pictures.

I planned to hit the mall on the way home from the play place, to start picking up a few bits and pieces for our upcoming trip to Ireland. I drove to hubby's work to get his card (heh heh) and was going to do some damage with it. Sadly, lunchtime, with a toddler and a baby, not the best time to be dragging them around the shops so I decide we'll nip in quickly and pick up gifts for Granny and the Aunties at Victoria Secrets. I spy a 'Family First' parking spot opening up ahead as someone is reversing out of it - 'great' I think, the day is looking up - this was before the dumbass, sports car driving, single guy swung into said family parking spot and took off running into the mall. I was so mad! I took down his tag number (observed by two cops doing this by the way - but they were on their way in for lunch so they neither cared about the dude taking the mommy friendly parking space, nor the fact that I was writing down his tag number). What was I going to do about this? I called the mall lol! I just needed to let off steam. I told the girl I was so ticked off that he would do this and wasn't sure there was anything she could do about it. She said there wasn't, and she undoubtedly thinks I'm a nutjob - I don't care, I felt better after doing it :)

We head into the mall (Miss E is soaking wet by the way, having tossed the last bit of water from her water bottle all over herself), then the 'I want sumpin' to eat' starts - so we go straight to the food court (I know, yuck) and both of us scarf down Chick Fil A, leave the food court just in time before being accosted by the poor person whose job it is to dress up like a cow and tell us to 'Eat Mor Chickn'. I run to VS (run being a relative term considering I was navigating my way around pushing a Graco Tandem Stroller). I grab the first six packages of smelly stuff I see, pay and get out of there.

I thought to myself E has got to be tired and she'll fall asleep on the way home, but despite me taking the long way she is STILL awake - and she is in that 'way overtired hyper mode' right now - right now, and here I am typing - I'm just blocking it out pretending it isn't happening because that's the only thing I can do right now!

On my little IM chat with Megan yesterday - I said 'oh well, at least she didn't get into the diaper cream' - and yes you've guessed it - I spoke too soon, because not long after we got back to the house, as I was tending to her brother - this is what she did:

Look at her hands and leg.
So off we went for her second bath of the day.

I am SO ready for her Dad to get home, and he better come armed with beer and chocolate! I find myself asking though, why does Miss E never save any of this 'fun' stuff for her Daddy? :)


Jenny said...

oh my, after this day you need more than a beer... I think a martini is in order!!

Brillig said...

Holy crap, hon. He'd BETTER bring home some chocolate! Yikes! I can't believe that you lived through it. I salute you for blogging in order to tune out the pain. hahaha. That's exactly what I do too.

Velveteen Mind said...

Oh, Annie! I, too, salute you for blogging this. Puts a fun spin on the crap.

I should mention that the only reason I plan to let my boy sqeeze out an entire tube of toothpaste is because it was my dream to do so when I was little.

Annie said she'd never read it, but have any of you read Beverly Cleary's book Ramona and Her Mother? I did, and it instilled in me a need to be a cooler mother than my own (by my elementary school standards) and I promised I would let my son do exactly what Ramona does on the cover: sqeeze out an entire tube of toothpaste!

...note to self: this is not my blog. It's Annie's. Post this yourself, rambling mama.

BTW, I yelled at Quinn for spilling milk(!) the other day. How cliche. Sometimes it's hard to hold it in, especially when it piles up: I yelled at him on the third milk spill of the day. --Megan

Jennifer said...

Yikes. Sounds like a crappy least it wasn't a kidney stone, right!?!

Thanks for the kind words at my blog! I appreciated all the well wishes!

In the Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Yep, chocolate and beer definitely are in order for a day like yours. Cheers!

michellecs said...

What a day! Hope you got your booze and chocolate fix- you earned it!
I just found your blog and I love it!

Annie said...

Thank you Michelle! Nice to see you here :)

I did indeed get the beer, and I've been OD'ing on the chocolate also!

Lene said...

It seems like things like that always happen to me and not my DH. What a day!