Thursday, December 20, 2007

Crawling into a bubble.

This is what I plan to do for the next week or so.

I am not going to read or watch the news for the immediate future. I can't cry anymore.

Examples of some recent, local news stories:

Mother arrested in drowning death of her 10 month old baby after she left him alone in the bathtub for 10 minutes while she got her other kids ready to bathe.

Man in custody charged with shooting two gas station workers dead, and setting two women alight in a separate incident and seriously burning them, and shooting another man in the face as he tried to help the women. One of these women was 5.5 months pregnant - her baby was born by emergency C section and died a couple of days later. The other woman died last night.

School closed down yesterday as a result of rumours spreading that some kid was going to shoot someone. These rumours spread by cell phone text messages, and thankfully school officials took it seriously - but, what about the next day these kids have to go to school?

I know that these incidents are a harsh reality, and happen all too frequently across the world. I can't process it any more, though.

For just a few days - I want to take myself back to that fizzy anticipation of Christmas that I experienced, and enjoyed, as a child. Those feelings of pure delight and agonizing suspense where in my innocence, oblivious to the darker side of life, I waited for Christmas Eve and the often futile attempts to get to sleep early, lest the big guy in red catch me awake.

I want to relish in those same feelings that I see in Miss E, for the first time as she really grasps the idea of what Santa is all about.

I want to languish in the feelings of pure pride I have in watching her at her Preschool's Christmas Program, and that I am happy that in addition to the gift giving and receiving side of Christmas, she knows we are also celebrating the birth of Christ.

I want to hold on to the hope that Miss E and Jay represent for a future generation. That they will learn from us the value of their lives, and those of others and that they will never ever be so careless with them as others seem to be in this age.

I have spent a lot of time recently thinking about what I can do to help those less fortunate, and I have taken a few (albeit small) steps to actually do something. I will not stop thinking of these people, but I recognize that my own family are important, too, and I want this to be a truly magical time of year for all of us. I'm letting go of the guilt I have felt that depsite what I may sometimes dwell on as shortcomings in my life - I have it a LOT better than other people - I can't carry that anymore - yes I have it better than many - but it doesn't stop me wanting to strive for something better - I'm not going to feel ashamed of that any more.

So as my daughter and I immerse ourselves in gingerbread men baking today, and package up a couple of boxes of homemade treats for friends, I will pray that we can all enjoy a happy, peaceful, and Blessed Christmas.


Jessica @ A Bushel and a Peck said...

Amen. Honestly, I stopped watching the news after Sunshine was born--I get too upset. I read the paper, but at least then I pick which headlines I can handle. Merry Christmas to all of you!

Feener said...

what an inspirational post. honestly, we don't have school today and i was stressing out about having both girls ALL day. you just made me realize that i am HAPPY to have them all day and the only plans can be to have fun.

Julie Pippert said...

Bubbling is a very good idea sometimes. Do it myself. Enjoy gingerbread making and precious time with your daughter. And a happy and peaceful holiday. :)

Using My Words

Jackie said...

Great post. I definitely need to take breaks from the news sometimes, too - it can really get too overwhelming.
Have fun with your little one and Merry Christmas!

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

I can't stomach the news anymore either. Too many upsetting things, not enough good news.

Hope you have a lovely day, filled with the scent of gingerbread and the sound of your kiddos giggles. Merry Christmas!

Christine said...

This post is just what I needed to hear today.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that there has always been pain and sorrow in the world and just be thankful for what I have, and do my best to help others.

Melinda Zook said...

It is a good idea. I did that sometime ago. I really can only occasionally stomach watching the news. I get too wound up by all this. I start to fear the kind of world my kids are growing up. So it is better for me not to watch; my hubby always reminds me that there are more good people in this world than bad. That's why we hear about the bad so often, it is sensationalist news.

Kimberly said...

I love my bubble. It's shiny and bright, and it keeps the worst of the wordly sorrows out. I don't feel ashamed of it...I'll just feel sympathy for those who don't have one. ~hugs~