Monday, July 2, 2007

Comfort Zone Crossroads

Is there anything more irrational than fear of something that may never happen?

This fear tendency is one that holds me back at times. It’s that aversion to risk again.

Thing is, my husband is unhappy in his job – familiar story, works his butt off but is frustrated 1. that he doesn’t have decent staff to help him and 2. that he isn’t getting paid enough for what he does (who doesn’t have this feeling at times?).

He potentially has the opportunity to take over his current department, and run it as if it were his own business. This is something that a buddy of his has done successfully with another department. Naturally my husband sees the success his friend has had (business wise, and financially as a result) and he’s keen to do the same thing. I am keen to support him, and I’ve said those words out loud ‘whatever you want to do, I’ll support you 100%', and I really want to mean that 100%, but truthfully I’m scared. The ‘what ifs’ come crashing in on me:

What if it doesn’t work?
What if health insurance doesn’t work out?
What if I can’t do the books? (he tells everyone ‘Annie can just do my books!’)
What if you can’t hire any better staff than you already have?
What if you still hate what you’re doing anyway?
What if it doesn’t work?
What if it DOESN’T WORK?!

What I would love, is to say a whole lot of ‘why nots'

Why not take the risk and make it work?
Why not check out the insurance thing – other self employed people manage it?
Why not learn how to do the books?
Why not scout for and pay for decent help?
Why not give it your best shot and make it work?

I know that this is about moving out of my comfort zone. He is ready to jump right out of his and I don’t want to hold him back. Any time I’ve faced a ‘comfort zone crossroads’ before, and even when my instinct was to run fast back to that which I knew and understood and was comfortable with, I knew I had to push myself. When I did, things were always better, after an initial adjustment. I hope that this adventure, if he chooses to undertake it, will be the same, but the thought of it scares the pants off me!


Anonymous said...

I am terrible fearful to move out of my comfort zone...I know how that feels...

I hope you both can figure out a solution!!!!

Send my hugs!

lady macleod said...

My darling Annie the definition of courage is not a lack of fear (only idiots are not afraid) but going ahead in spite of the fear. Everyone is afraid, but not everyone forges it!

My criteria are that no one is dead, no one is critically ill - anything other than that can be handled. Regret is a nasty emotion.

You have done it before, my goodness look at your passport!, you can do it now. I am telling you we all need a little cedar box that sits on the dresser and when you open it cheers and applause ring out! Just imagine that.

andi said...

Ah, the curse of the "what ifs". I know them well. I hope everything works out.

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

I completely understand!! My husband has accepted 2 different jobs in the past 5 years, requiring us to move, change's so scary.

good luck as you two move forward with this.

Brillig said...

It sounds scary and overwhelming and quite possibly extremely rewarding. I'm excited to hear what you decide. Really, it could be the best thing that ever happened to you!!!

The Good Woman said...

Hi Annie

Three wisdoms on this:
1. You talk about risk but you don't talk about return. You don't get the latter without indulging in the former.
2. We regret the things we don't do more than the things we do.
3. We learn the most when out of our comfort zones.

Lecture over. Enjoy the ride!

Megan (Velveteen Mind) said...

I totally understand this and I am totally on board the risk wagon. Life rewards you when you stick your neck out, even if not immediately.

Forge ahead. This may just be that fabulous point in the book when the plot turns and the truly exciting stuff starts.

Kimberly said...

In the exact same situation, I'd be feeling the exact same way. My comfort zone, alas, is a pretty small place. Lucky for me I married someone who takes me out of it on a regular basis. =)

Stay at home dad said...

I'd agree with her ladyship. I tend to wait until the what ifs diminish, but I wish I'd ignored them earlier...

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Hi Annie, this is my first time visiting your blog. I'm from Florida, actually, and I'm quite jealous that you're there and I'm here right now. Isn't there a book out there called Face the Fear? Lots of self-employed people figure out the health insurance issue. I think you both should take the plunge (though of course it's not my neck on the line). Is your husband American?

Annie said...

wuastc, My husband is what you could call Irish/American in it's truest sense. He has US citizenship, but is originally from Ireland. Thanks for visiting my blog!