Preschool Dilemma - advice please?

Despite my embarrassing rant about Miss E's school, I do like it there. My gut reaction to the place was that it was warm, loving, safe and very child centered.

On the whole, I like Miss E's current teacher, but...

I have been concerned at the frequency with which Miss E comes home with worksheets, or colouring sheets. Lately, Miss E has not put a single mark on these sheets.

Miss E's school is a parenting co-op - so each morning a parent helps out in the class. I have my co-op day once a month and I see how these worksheets are used.

They are presented to the kids - either as the first thing they are instructed to do in the mornings, or after they have been told to tidy everything away.

Some kids sit and meticulously colour them and trace the numbers or letters or whatever they may be. Other kids (including Miss E) get restless, are not interested in the sheets, and try to break loose and do something else.

This is a group of 3 and 4 year olds.

I've voiced my concern to the teacher herself who told me not to worry - that these were presented as an opportunity for the kids to do them, they don't have to if they don't want to.

I recently took my concerns to the director of the school who simply responded by saying 'mmm hmmm' to my every sentence. She informed me that Miss E would be in a different class with a different teacher next year - and hoped that that would make things better. Time will tell I guess.

Miss E will be in this school again in August for a full school year and I am hoping that she will still enjoy it as this school has an excellent and highly recommended Voluntary Pre K (VPK) program (state funded 5 morning a week Pre Kindergarten). Good VPK programs are hard to find.

However, the more I talk about these worksheets and my concerns about them - the less comfortable I'm feeling with the school.

I have had feed back from other parents at the school whom have raised the same concerns, and from friends who are in the education system who are pretty much disgusted that colouring sheets or worksheets are being used with kids this age.

My gut instinct at this point is to 'let's see how it goes'. Miss E will start with a new teacher, and will be in a new room. I intend to talk to the teacher before the term starts and offer any practical help I can in terms of helping her prep materials for art sessions or whatever she may need to help her gear up to let the kids have FUN - and learn through that fun.

I don't want to presume to tell a qualified professional how to 'teach' my kid - but I'm not really interested in her being actively taught anything at this point. I want her to go and have fun. To make friends. To learn through her play and above all things - to think of school as a fun and exciting place to be.

She has many years of formal schooling ahead - I don't want her being switched off this early by being bored with worksheets!

The advice I need from you - especially those of you whom have been through this stage - is how would you approach the school, and/or the teacher. Proactively? Would you raise the issue of worksheets from the get go? Would you wait and see what happens?

I want to do the right thing by Miss E - if that means finding her a different (better) school - I will.

"Happy Mudder's Day"

"Happy Mudder's Day" - the happy greeting that Miss E has given me almost every day this week - she knew it was coming up and I guess she was covering all her bases by saying it every day to make sure she got it on the actual day itself.

Her Daddy had conspired with her and although she did very well in keeping secret what goodies were in store for me, she managed to let slip that there were lots of them, and they were all in Jay's closet - "Ret's go see Mommy!".

Last night when I kissed her goodnight for bed I said 'I'll see you in the morning - when it's Mother's Day' - she gasped, hands flying to her mouth. She went straight to Daddy and said 'Uh Oh! She telled herself! Daddy, Daddy, is it okay if she telled herself?'

I'm still giggling.

See my salute to all mothers, here.

Enjoy your day!

Why I hate being a stereotypical female

I know nothing about vehicles. I mean, it's like how I am with computers. I know how to drive one, and how to get it to do what I need it to do (except maybe reverse park, but we won't go there). But, with cars (or computers), whenever something goes wrong, or something needs tweaked, fixed or serviced - I have no clue. Not a notion.

Yet, since I am the person in this house with all this free time (ha!), it's me that gets to take the family vehicle for its servicing appointments and the like.

Yesterday I took the car to get new boots. Four spanking new tyres (or tires for my US readers). Once I steadied myself at the counter after seeing the bill (ouch!), I spoke for a few minutes with the guy in the shop. I told him that the steering had been pulling significantly to the right, and that oftentimes I would have to pull pretty hard to the left just to keep my trusty truck on the straight and narrow.

He told me 'that is most likely due to an alignment problem, we can look at that for you'. I asked how long, and how much? 'Forty five minutes and sixty bucks'. Hmm - I had to pick Miss E and her buddy up from Preschool, and didn't have the time - but I don't want misaligned wheels either!

So, the conversation continued. I told the guy that at the last service, Ford told me the truck was pulling to the right because of how the tyres were wearing and it would most likely rectify itself with new tyres since these ones were about ready to be replaced. The guy in the tyre shop says full of disdain 'They ALWAYS do that, tsk. Instead of taking people's money, they just say "it's only the tyres". It doesn't make sense!'.

I'm standing there in this shop asking myself do I need my wheels aligned or not? I'm so confused. Shop guy says 'your tires (since he's American he says tires, not tyres), wear for two reasons, one is that the pressure is wrong [our pressure has been fine, at least no wee lights were on to tell me otherwise!], and the other is that your wheels are out of alignment' Okay, I think, this makes sense to me. But wait a minute. Didn't this guy just tell me that Ford were dumb for not just taking my money and doing a wheel alignment? Does he really think my wheels are out of alignment, or is he just trying to cash in on the (correct) assumption that I don't know any better, and do the alignment whether the truck needs it or not?

Arggghhh!!

What did I do? I took it for a spin. I drove straight down a straight road and the car did not pull in either direction - I even did it with no hands for a few seconds. Straight as a die.

Shop guy told me to bear in mind that 'since your tires are all new and flat [huh? I don't want flat tyres, especially not after the megabucks I just gave you!] that the car is going to want to go straight'

Okaaaayyyy! None the wiser, but happier to be driving straight and not having to over correct steering in any way, I picked up the kids from school and merrily drove home.

Hubs can take care of the big metal baby from now on - he can sniff a spoofer from 100 yards, and he knows what they're talking about into the bargain.

Uh Oh! We've discovered IKEA

We've been meaning to take a trip to the IKEA store that opened not long ago, about an hour from here. Today was as good a day as any so off we went.

We got there not long after the store opened - and it was kind of busy - by the time we left there was no room available in the parking lot, and we had people queuing up to take our space when we pulled out!

Of course, a few minutes into our browsing - I could totally understand why it was this busy. (Either that, or the weekend many people have their fists around their economic stimulus funds was maybe not the best one to venture out to check out IKEA).

Getting out of town was a tonic in itself, a relaxed drive (all the better for the fact that I was not the driver), gorgeous weather, a complete change of scenery. Little did I think I'd be positively bursting with excitement once I got inside those doors!

Zone after zone of beautifully pulled together rooms, many of which are not to my specific taste, but I can certainly appreciate that those with different lifestyles (probably without kids, judging by the number of white sofas!) could completely furnish their apartments or homes, in great style, without going bankrupt in the process.

We spent a good couple of hours browsing the showroom upstairs. Miss E and Jay content to play in the little staged apartment areas and people watch from the stroller, respectively. This in itself is a testament to how great this store is - because every other store we go to causes both kids to instantly morph into starving, whining, 'I need to go potty', 'This is boring', 'WHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA' demons!

We've fallen for a dining room table and chairs - we hate our current one which is far too big for the space we have. The IKEA version is very much my taste, and seems to be of decent quality. Not exactly what you'd call an investment piece - but, with two kids the ages that ours are, whom have a tendency to scratch, chew, scrape, draw on any level (or unlevel) wooden surfaces we're thinking investment pieces are not the way to go for us for now. However, I need to deliberate over this one a little more to make sure that I really like it enough, and am not rushing into a decision simply because I want rid of our current set, stat. (Plus, going back to buy the table and chairs gets me another go around this paradise. Bwahahahahaha!)

We chose a great kids' table and chairs, and picked up a cute little wooden train set for Jay, and a darling ceramic tea set for Miss E (for half of nothing I might add). We rode the elevator (which was enormous and had me wondering if the Swedish population indulges in too many Swedish Meatballs?), down to the ground floor where I thought all we'd do would be to pick up the table and chairs and pay for our purchases.

HA! Those elevator doors opened and I think I might have squealed a little bit - a whole Aladdin's cave of goodies - housewares, storage, textiles, plants, basically everything you never even knew you needed, and more! Good job we'd stopped by the cafe and fueled up because you know that was another hour's worth of browsing. Thankfully Miss E's little legs were tired and she gratefully hopped into the shopping cart sans protest of any kind (again, this NEVER happens at any other store).

We're lucky we came away with as little as we did, and we're lucky this store is an hour away!

Looking for a fun family day out? Go to IKEA - seriously - you won't be disappointed!

Things that make me smile.

I was going to do this as a 'Thursday Thirteen' - but they seem to have a theme going on this week, and I'm not in the mood to follow rules right now!

Thank you all for your responses to my last post by the way - they help, a lot!

Feeling the need to focus on the positive at the minute - and not yet in the frame of mind to write anything of real substance, here are some little things making me smile these days - and look - there just happens to be thirteen of them!


1. Our new treadmill



It helps me start each day early and refreshed, with a nice endorphin buzz after I've done a 30 minute program, and showered, all before my kids get up.

2. All this exercising business not only helps my mood, but I'm losing weight, too. Four pounds down in 10 days. It would be more, but I have yet to manage tempering my desire for chocolate, chips, butter and all things fatty with anything resembling restraint.

3. We got our economic stimulus payment yesterday. This will help me with spending on our trip to Ireland later this month (not that it will go far once I convert it to local currency - thanks weak dollar!) I'll technically be stimulating a foreign economy - I'm pretty sure that wasn't the intent of the payment - oops!

4.I have kicked my Diet Coke habit.

I have wanted to do this for a long time - a can full of chemicals is just BAD!

5. I have fewer migraines lately. There is a direct correlation with number 3 - no Diet Coke equals WAY fewer headaches. I had to prove it to myself - after two weeks of no Diet Coke - I had two cans on a Saturday and was rewarded with a migraine that lasted 4 days!

6. Coffee and La Croix Pure Sparkling Water, lime flavour.

I have to substitute the caffeine and carbonation with something, right?!

7. Miss E is in bed, and fast asleep before 8pm every night.

A MAJOR, major breakthrough for us.

As you can see, she may not always fall asleep in the part of the bed one conventionally would, but I'll take it.

8. Supernanny!

We used Supernanny's techniques for Miss E's bedtime and they've worked a treat. She still protests bedtime, and still employs all the tried and tested stalling tactics that all kids use (I recognise many of them from my own childhood!), but the whole process is much smoother and faster - and hubs and I are not frazzled, agitated and spent at the end of it.

We have the Supernanny book, and it has been great for general discipline advice also. The combination of better bedtime, more sleep, and consistent discipline has made for a much happier Miss E, and fewer 'grumpy day' reports from her preschool teacher!

These are the small victories I alluded to here, like I said - pretty basic parenting approaches that just took us longer than many to implement effectively.

9. Jay at 18 months, has more than 30 words, and is already combining two and three words into phrases like 'all gone' 'where are you' 'I don't know' (he's picked this one up from his sister who uses this as an automatic answer to almost every question I ask her!) Speech and language acquisition is one of the things we've been asked to keep an eye on following Jay's numerous hearing tests, and his itty bitty, teeny weeny, hearing loss. We think his language acquisition is coming along just fine.

10. Jay's Audiologist had said to me in January at a routine hearing test that she'd continue to see him every 3 months until his second birthday - and after that she'd stretch the reviews out to every 4 or 6 months. We had another hearing test in April, and she's happy to stretch it out to 6 monthly reviews already! YAY!

And really - is there anything about this face that would not make you smile?



11.My new specs! I got them yesterday.

(If you click that pic and make it big please ignore the grey hairs and the pimply skin. I'm workin' on it!)

I feel much more up to date although they take a bit of getting used to - I kind of feel like I have blinkers on because I can see the arms in my peripheral vision. The best thing about these new ones is that I can actually see through them - there are no scratches or grimy fingerprints. I vow to clean them only with the cute little cloth that came in the case so that I won't be tripping back in a few months with more scratched lenses. (Forgot to ask for the protective scratch coat on my last pair, duh!)

12. My new yellow house. The house isn't new, but the colour is. Hubs took time off last week and painted the whole house. If that colour doesn't make you happy, don't know what will.



13. My aunt is coming in just over two weeks for a ten day visit. The main purpose of her trip is to be here to help me take the kids back to Ireland at the end of the month. Hubs is coming later, and there is just no way I'd tackle that journey by myself. I'm so happy and grateful to her for doing this - because I get to be at my other 'home' for a while to see family - and help with preparations for my sister's wedding.

Things are going to be busy around here for the next few weeks, then I'll be in Ireland for five weeks - so posting will be sparse, I'm sure - but I'll still be reading all of your blogs, and I'll try to post every so often.

Enjoy your May Day - and I hope the weather's being nice to you all!

Hormone Junkie

Hello, my name is Annie, and I am a prolactin addict.

Four years of being pregnant and/or nursing ended for me at the beginning of February. I was two months pregnant with Jay when Miss E eventually weaned, so I have not had any 'break' from pregnancy or nursing in this time.

At the time, having weaned Jay was a bit of a non event. He was ready and so was I. It was a gradual process that I really didn't realize had finally happened until I took stock one day and realized it had been a few days since he'd nursed. He was done and that was that - life went on as normal.

Except it wasn't. Normal.

I have felt progressively gloomy over the last couple of months. To the point of asking myself 'what the hell is wrong with me?'. Constant tiredness, lack of motivation for the simplest things. Doing the bare minimum to keep my kids fed (and not very nutritiously so!), poor appetite, headaches, not sleeping great, and the crying, a lot of crying.

About a month ago I did briefly let the thought wander around my mind, 'what if this is the start of depression?' Not knowing what depression is like, and certainly never thinking this could happen to me, I dismissed it after a short while and told myself to 'shake it off'. This happens to all mothers.

Except, I can't shake it off.

I have worried my poor husband, who knows that I am down in the dumps, but can't understand why. When he asks me 'what's wrong?', I talk in circles, and I can't explain why because I didn't understand it, either.

I would never win any housekeeping awards, and I am totally okay with that - we keep the house pleasantly 'lived in' - it's clean but rarely tidy - and I may have periodic laundry backlogs - but nothing that couldn't be fixed catching up one morning. Now? My house is trashed - and last minute laundry is my specialty.

I've spent a few weeks mentally chastising myself for being lazy. I have had to force myself to stay off the computer realizing that time spent here was time away from my kids - and that made me a bad mommy. So I backed away from my blog, and sat on the couch - pleading with my kids to entertain themselves because 'mommy has a sore head', 'mommy's tired', 'just let mommy watch something that isn't animated and full of music - just for once, PLEASE?!'

My self confidence has nosedived. My skin is breaking out like an unfortunate teenager - and since I never was that unfortunate teenager, this is the first time in my life that I have felt self conscious about my skin.

I compare myself unfavourably to others and let myself feel inferior to them. I know nobody can make me feel this way - only if I let them! I know the theory of not letting people make me feel a certain way - yet putting that into practice is a different ball game.

This all came to something of a head last weekend when after a wedding on Friday where I felt so out of place compared to all the 'beautiful people' in attendance - I cried with my husband about how bad I felt. Once those floodgates opened, I spent the most of Saturday in tears and he patiently and supportively listened while I talked in more circles and tried desperately to make sense of this.

Then the penny dropped and I figured that I could pretty much pin the start of this downward spiral to the time that Jay was finally, and completely weaned. I struggled to understand if this meant anything in terms of how I felt and dismissed any sense of loss at the end of the nursing relationship. As I said - I was ready for him to wean (at last!) and so was he. But maybe I shouldn't be so hasty to dismiss the weaning as an emotional issue. I've spent four solid years nurturing a child - be it as they grew inside me, or as I breastfed them. These were done by me - all me. These are confidence boosters - it's amazing to think that I had that capability and I executed it beautifully. And now it's over.

More than this though - I think the hormonal adjustments that my body is undergoing is what is really messing with me. Prolactin has been coursing through my veins at varying levels for four years - and now its presence has significantly dropped. That feel good, 'happy hormone' was giving me a maternal high, and I'm going through withdrawal, I'm sure of it!

I have been reaching out to various individuals over the last couple of days. Seeking validation that my suspicions are correct - and looking for advice on what to do about it. I have had amazing feedback from La Leche League - and from friends.

I have received great advice on steps I can take to help me get out of this 'funk' and I'm working on them already - exercise being the top of my 'feel better' priority list. Maintaining the motivation to keep at it though is going to be my challenge, as it always is where exercise is concerned.

Ironically - at a time when I had taken a step back from blogging - several people advised journaling as a positive outlet and something that could help me feel better. I have always felt cathartic benefits from writing through certain things on this blog - but I struggled lately to articulate anything about what I was feeling, and figured it would be too depressing to read so I stayed clear of discussing any of this before. But writing through it may be just the thing I need to do - and if I can carve in time to do it before the kids get up, and after running on the treadmill - I will do just that.

A La Leche League leader, who also happens to be a therapist, spoke to me at length this morning and I feel so much better after speaking to her since she not only agreed that a hormonal shift is definitely involved in how I feel right now but she also suggested looking into herbal supplements - Kava Kava, and 5 HTP - so - now I'm reaching out to any of you who understand these, or have used them? I've never heard of them and what I'm reading online is mixed - any feedback you have would be appreciated.

Also - if you have weaned, particularly after nursing for an extended period - did you go through this weirdness? And, how did you get yourself out of it?

I feel better today than I have in the last couple of months, better for knowing that there is a reason for me feeling this way and that I'm not just quietly going nuts here.

I don't expect to feel better overnight - but I will do whatever I can to help myself and make myself feel happier - for me, and for my family. I don't want to feel this way - and I don't want to have Miss E frequently ask 'Why you sad Mommy?'.

I am all out of blog steam

I started this blog almost a year ago and in that time I have really enjoyed the sense of community, the interaction and the cathartic benefits it has given me. I've also enjoyed the opportunity to weigh in on important topics relating to parenthood, or life in general.

However, I see so much about blogging that I haven't taken the time to understand. All the social networking sites, the stumbling, the diggs, and then there's the infamous Twitter, which, despite reading many blog posts on the subject - still confuses me - and I'm not sure I get, at all, what the point of it is.

I could get to the bottom of all these things - but that would require more time and energy than I'm prepared to devote to it - and so I feel like I'm being left behind in the dust of all the 'proper' bloggers. The more I resist getting into these blogging practices, the further behind I feel and catching up seems pointless to me - why would I try? To be like everyone else? (never a path I chose to follow), to be popular? To gain more readers? ( might be nice since the ones I had seem to have disappeared). Unless I see my blog as a shoe in to a means to make money in some way - which currently I'm not seeking - I won't try to 'catch up'

I have no enthusiasm for something that becomes like a chore - this blog is in danger of becoming exactly that. I have resisted posting about our recent (and maybe not all that recent) parenting challenges when dealing with what is essentially a strong willed child in Miss E because, to do so will sound whiney and who wants to read that? Everyone has their own issues. I've refrained from posting about our small successes in improving our overall experiences with said strong willed child because I feel like we're covering some pretty basic parenting ground, that has just taken us a little longer than most to figure out. Or, maybe it's that I'm so darned tired trying to meet these challenges and do right by Miss E, that I don't have the energy to articulate these issues in a coherent or interesting way. The result is I've posted a bunch of drivel in the few times that I've posted at all recently.

So, I think I'm jumping on the 'blogging break' bandwagon. I do feel all out of blogging steam, or maybe the novelty has just worn off.

All I know - is that I am a better mommy when I'm not spending time at this keyboard. And that at the end of the day is what I need to be - a better mommy.