- A house that is clean and tidy, in every room, and every closet.
- Home baked muffins and bread (two french loaves going in the oven this morning).
- Wholesome meals from scratch breakfast, lunch and dinner (no frozen or pre prepared junk here!)
Anyone who really knows me will know that while I can keep a house reasonably tidy, I am by no means fanatical about it and, a) it doesn't last long, and b) it will be either a clean house or the cooking - not usually concurrently.
All this in the name of keeping myself so busy that I don't have time to worry about Baby J. It works to an extent, but you know I can't help having those fleeting moments of worry (okay, sometimes not so fleeting). I flip-flop from focusing on how well his understanding of language is developing, his babbling and his obvious ability to hear, and focusing on his 'issue' as something that may be minor, to panicking that it is not something minor.
We have seen the ENT specialist, for all of 10 mins, only enough time for him to scan the audiology reports and concur that there is cause for concern and for him to order CT scans and blood tests.
So, more waiting. More uncertainty. More fear.
We go next week to the Children's hospital for these tests.
I do oddly feel more settled about my ramblings on whether or not to return to work, or to move house. God has a way of bringing what's important in life into sharp focus and suddenly all those trivial things mean nothing. I know the best place for me is to be at home with my kids right now, and I can't imagine the additional stress of having to take Baby J to see all his 'Ologists' while working at the same time! The aesthetics of our house, or in fact where we make our home, seem so unimportant now, too.
To those of you whom have asked for updates - that's where we are, no further on really, just more waiting. But hey, at least my house is clean!