Just because...

I'm not sure if this is the norm in every household, or if I'm particularly slack in the photo department, but I do have to confess that I have fewer photos of Jay, than I do of his sister at the same age.

I don't really have a good excuse other than when we're heading off somewhere, sadly the camera is the last thing I think to pack.

Thankfully, I know other, more organized moms, one of whom we met at the park on Friday for a play date.

She took these pictures of Jay enjoying his cupcake while his sister and her pals played on the slides.

I'm sharing them here along with the resolution, (it's that time of year after all), that I will be taking many more photos of my little man. So be prepared to be inundated with all his handsomeness!

Happy Christmas!

I know most people here say 'Merry Christmas' - but I'm sticking with 'Happy' - as it's what we've always said.

So, Happy Christmas from all of us, to all of you!

"Busy but Benign"

That's what the surgeon said to me yesterday!

I have no breast cancer, and nothing to worry about!

He told me that I have Fibrocystic Breast Disease and the pathology findings were consistent with that condition.

The calcification they removed is benign.

You have NO idea the huge relief this is for me - aside from the obvious.

On Wednesday, I got a phone call from the Radiologist who did the biopsy procedure. Her information was slightly different.

She told me the calc was benign, but they found another area of 'disorganized cells' which in 30%-40% of times becomes 'something bad'. She also said it wouldn't show up on a mammogram until it was 'really bad'. Her recommendation was that I go ahead and have a surgeon do an excisional biopsy.

You can imagine what that did for the old stress-o-meter!

I went to my surgeon's appointment then waiting for him to tell me all of this too. He simply read the report through with me and told me I was in the clear!

I told him what the Radiologist had discussed with me - and he again went through the report telling me it said nothing about disorganized cells, no evidence of atypia at all - just healthy, albeit lumpy, tissue! And, under no circumstances did I need an excisional biopsy. He was quite irritated that I'd been told otherwise.

This surgeon is a very nice, very no-nonsense kind of guy. I trust him 100% - and happily take his diagnosis!

So a weight off my mind to be sure.

Now if I could just get my little man a clean bill of health we'd be good.

We were back with Jay at the doc's today - fifth time in 3 weeks. I think I'm due my own parking space there at this point!

Poor little mite after three weeks in which he's had croup, pneumonia, croup again, congestion and a bad cough (which I was paranoid was a pneumonia relapse) - now has an ear infection!

Please, please let this be the end of it!

Mean is Mean is Mean!

Driving towards school the other morning I got rather irate at an elderly driver in front of me.

Ever mindful that I have two little parrots kids in the back I try to keep my verbal abuse of other road users to an absolute minimum.

Understand though that we are in mid December - the season of Snowbirds. So my patience is tried on a much more regular basis than it would be say from April through October.

If you are a Snowbird reading this, or your parents or grandparents come fly south to Florida for the winter - let me give a friendly suggestion. Advanced driving courses, a map of the local area, or at the very least, the absolute minimum - a quick scan over your vehicle's owner's manual to reacquaint yourself with the turn signal - just sayin'.

Anyway - this other morning I was particularly frustrated at the slow egress through a left hand turn (with lights LONG in his favour) of an elderly driver in front of me.

Trying to keep Miss E from understanding what I am saying at these times - I generally revert to a rather exaggerated version of my local accent - Norn Iron Spake as it is known. I uttered the words

'G'on ye bye yeh'

in order to will the driver in front to discover the gas pedal and apply it accordingly.

Immediately Miss E pipes up from the back 'Mommy, why are you being so mean to that man?'

Apparently mean is just mean, whatever the dialect.

Suitably admonished I now try to keep my dislike for others' driving habits in check. My tongue and inner cheek are suffering terribly though!

No Answers Yet

Once again - very kind readers have been asking for updates on this ongoing biopsy saga. Thank you so much for thinking of me, and taking the time to email me.

I had the biopsy done last Wednesday. Not one of the most fun experiences of my life that's for sure!

The calcification they were after was very far in, right at my chest wall. And, it was very tiny. For these reasons - it wasn't so easy for them to get, and it took three attempts before they were successful.

Add to this that the local anesthetic didn't work and I wasn't numb when they started everything - ugh!

Anyway - a few more shots of lidocaine I was comfortable enough for them to continue. They got what they needed and I expect the results sometime during the week. I have a follow up appointment with the surgeon on Thursday - all I can do in the meantime is pray that the results are benign.

I do look like someone who had a boob job though - but could only afford half a boob job. The swelling is taking a little longer than I expected to go down.

I haven't had much time to blog, or read blogs for that matter in the last couple of weeks and this is part of the reason I haven't been posting updates.

My two year old, has been keeping me on my toes again. Two weeks ago he woke at 6:30am with that tell tale barking cough. Croup. Again.

He was given steroids at the doctor's office that morning -and the barking went away in a couple of days - but he did have a persistent cough for the rest of that week.

By the following Saturday (last weekend) we were back at the doc's office with a very high fever, coughing and a very unwell baby. We had to go to the ER for a chest xray, and lo and behold, pneumonia had settled in. IV fluids and antibiotic at the ER kick started his recovery and he was thankfully a different child by the next day. He's still taking antibiotic for the pneumonia - but his follow up appointment on Monday was good, and the doctor was very pleased with his progress.

Fast forward to this weekend, after a week of almost running at 100% - my boy gets another fever on Friday evening, and wakes up yesterday with the croupy cough again. He is also very heavily congested - so it looks like we're dealing with another viral respiratory infection.

I haven't decided yet if I'll be taking him in tomorrow to the doctor. He's eating and drinking fine, and his breathing is good - he just sounds like a seal when he coughs! So he'll be getting adhoc steamy bathroom visits for the rest of the day - and his humidifier is doing overtime in his room, too. After that we'll play it by ear.

Just that time of year I guess when these kids get slammed with abrupt changes in the weather, and germs. Lots of germs!

We're doing our best to get ready for Christmas. We have a rather anorexic looking Christmas tree - a pre-lit job I bought at Target in the sales after Christmas last year. I hate it. Plus, a whole section of lights at the bottom keeps flicking on and off. How come these things look great in the store, and look crap in your house? I haven't altogether abandoned the idea of dumping it and going back to a real tree - but we'll see.

We were supposed to have my Parents in Law for Christmas, but sadly they can't come now since my Father In Law suffered a heart attack last weekend, and is still in hospital. His Consultant (Cardiologist) has said 'NO WAY' to the prospect of him flying to Florida anytime soon. In light of his troubles, a Charlie Brown-esque Christmas Tree doesn't seem that much of an issue really.

So medical drama simmers on - I don't mind telling you though - I'm ready for it to be over!

I'll post when I get the result of the biopsy - and would love you all to say a prayer like me that it's the result I want.

Quest for Peace of Mind

Some kind readers have been asking for an update to this post.

My original appointment was rescheduled to today - so I had no news to give until now.

I met with the surgeon this morning who was very nice and gave me concrete advice - which to be honest, hasn't been all that forthcoming in the medical arenas that we've been dealing with in the last while. It's like they (as in the collective, medical 'they') are afraid to give advice, in case it proves to be erroneous and you sue them!

This medical/legal fear is not a helpful environment in which anxious patients (that would be me) are able to make sound decisions on their own medical treatment.

I went in to that office with a 'just tell me what to do' mentality - and I'm happy to have left with a clear plan.

The surgeon considers me low risk for anything sinister (I can't bring myself to type it, but you know what I'm talking about). This in itself is reassuring, and is something that nobody else was prepared to say.

However, he was very mindful of my level of anxiety over this whole thing. That's not to say I spend every waking moment in fear of it - I do not - but it does take over my thoughts several times a day, and sometimes at night.

Evidently I don't do not knowing very well.

I will go ahead and have what is called a stereotactic biopsy. Even though it's unlikely to be malignant - I need to know one way or the other. If it's not - then I've got my peace of mind - and I continue with regular mammography checks. If it is, then I haven't let it fester for four additional months. I feel better either way - that I'm being positive and proactive about it.

So, more waiting and a weird procedure on the horizon - but if it helps preserve my sometimes fragile mental health (and I'm only half joking!), then it's a good thing.

Thank you to those of you who asked about this, I appreciate it.

Will keep you posted.

In the meantime - if there is any woman reading this, who is over 35 and has not yet had their first mammogram done - go get the phone and make that appointment now. If you are overdue for an annual mammogram - again, get calling your docs office. NOW!

So, I gots ta see a surgeon!

November 10th I get the pleasure of sitting down with a surgeon to discuss my options regarding the micro calcification that is evident on my mammogram as mentioned here.

Can we say 'UGH' ?

I had that mammogram over a month ago. I've already done the 'freak-the-hell-out-feel-scared-what-if-it's-something-horrible?' routine.

I've emailed with The Laundress, had emails from other great women who know about these things either from first hand experience, or from working in the medical field - and I had calmed down nicely thankyouverymuch!

My head was firmly planted back in the sand, pretending that everything was just fine and we'd not talk of it again until April when the radiologist wanted to have another look and see.

Hmm.

It turns out that I have a very proactive, concerned about me (and maybe a bit concerned about herself) OBGYN whose nurse called me today and discussed my 'options' - ending up with their solid recommendation that I go ahead and see a surgeon to discuss a biopsy, or complete removal of the 'micro calcification'.

I had actually had thoughts along these lines back in September - my gut reaction was 'what do you mean calcifications? Get them the hell out of there!' - but passed this off as my overly active (read negative) imagination and complete over reaction on my part.

Once again we're back to the rational part of my mind telling me to 'calm down', and the emotional part saying 'how the heck do you expect me to calm down?'

I'll endeavour to remember my pact with JJ - and stay positive.

I'll probably see if they'll take whatever it is that's concerning them out - and get rid of it completely, hopefully never to be heard of again.

Ladies, if you've had experience of this - or had any biopsy type stuff done - spill it - please and thank you!