Toddler Health Commandments

1. Thou shalt behave completely normally throughout the day - playing, eating and drinking just fine, then wait until your parents think you are safely asleep for the night to throw up your dinner all over your crib, your teddy and yourself.

2. Thou shalt not appear relieved at having emptied the offensive contents of your stomach, and wait until Mommy puts you down in your fresh crib before repeating the throwing up procedure.

3. Thou shalt continue to retch and heave unproductively for two hours (since you have eliminated that which would have sustained a small country, from your tiny body).

4. Thou shalt fool your parents into thinking that all is settling down by starting to fall asleep on your mother's lap - and giving her that double edged sword of feeling so sorry for you because you are unwell, but secretly relishing in the freedom she has to stroke your face and your hair, to hold your tiny feet in her palm, and trace the outline of your fingers in hers, without protesting.

5. Thou shalt disturb this calm in an instant by heaving again and necessitating a quick sprint to the bathroom sink - where bile is all that comes up.

6. Thou shalt proceed to go limp, and refuse to engage with Mommy or Daddy when we try to coax even the tiniest reaction from you, let your head and limbs flop and show absolutely no interest in your most favourite comfort object, teddy (the spare, non puked upon teddy - for Mommy is very clever and has prepared for instances such as these).

7. Thou shalt unceremoniously freak both your parents out so they start asking 'should we call the doctor?', prompting Mommy to phone Auntie Suzy for a second opinion - and she concurs that we need to phone the doctor.

8. Thou shalt [of course] do all of this out of office hours so that when the doctor calls back her advice is 'he needs to be seen, you must take him to the Emergency Room'.

9. Thou shalt perform your 'rag doll' routine for the Triage Nurse and get her just as worried as Mommy, so she asks for a second opinion. In the 15 seconds that it takes the second Triage Nurse to appear - you miraculously recover the use of your limbs, your head and your eyes and you're trying to sit up as if to say 'sick?, me?, nahhh'. Triage nurse is relieved, but still doesn't like your colour and sends us to wait in the huge waiting room crammed with people too poor to see a regular doctor, a situation that Mommy could write about for a long time! and backing up the doctors so that we wait for ages without anyone seeing us. Just as Mommy starts to question whether you should be in the ER or not, thou shalt throw up once more for good measure, just in case going home might have been an option at this point.

10. Finally, at almost 2am, when you decide you would much prefer to lie down in your bed and sleep, thou shalt begin to protest your snuggly place on Mommy's tummy, throw the wet washcloth from your brow and thrash teddy around in case the strength of your distaste for your surroundings wasn't getting through clearly enough.


Satisfied that you'd be just as well off sleeping this off at home, and happier that you were a bit better than you were when you arrived, Mommy decided to call it quits. Leaving the coughing kids, and those kids happily running around causing havoc, with whom there didn't seem to be much wrong at all, to tie up the ER staff some more - we both craved our beds and some rest and TLC is probably all you really need anyway - we went home.

But, please, Son, next time - try and fit this in between 8am and 4:30am, okay? So much easier on all of us.

EMS lady will be gunning for me!

If you haven't read my last post - you might want to do it now so that this one makes sense - we'll wait....

So, I have been in email contact with the director of our County's EMS! I stewed and stewed over the EMS lady's attitude toward me in the middle of a medical emergency. A situation that she is supposed to make better, not worse.

I wrote two emails, one thanking the ER for their help, and another to the Fire Service Paramedics thanking them for their prompt assistance. As it happens, the fire service email arrived at the Director of the whole County's Emergency Services, Ambulance and Fire service, so I had the opportunity to raise the not so good part of my experience with them this week.

As a friend put it to me, I was 'diplomatic' in my explanation of what happened, and I made it clear that I wasn't pleased at the interaction I had with this woman. I said that I contacted them not to complain, rather for my experience to serve as a reminder to anyone answering a 911 call, particularly one involving a child, that a little compassion and understanding for the parent's position would perhaps be more helpful.

I feel better having got it off my chest, but here's hoping I don't need 911 any time soon - I'm not sure EMS lady will be in a mood to help me if she happened to be the paramedic on duty!

When is a cold, not a cold?

Or, things that go through your mind en route to the ER at 5:30am.

* There's an unbelievable amount of traffic on the roads at that hour.

* Even school buses - school buses?

* I hope they get us seen before the 7am shift change that causes all medical staff to disappear for upwards of an hour!

* Did I over-react when I called 911? No I didn't - Jay was struggling to breathe - the doctor told me to call 911. He needed medical attention, quickly - this was the fastest way.

* I'm really not that great at handling stress or a crisis. How could I not remember the number of our house?

* Why was that EMS lady so obnoxious to me? Has she ever woken from a silent slumber to hear her child fighting for a breath? Has she heard that hacking, barking cough from her baby? Does she know how fast this can happen? Has she seen her child's eyes pleading at her from a pallid face for help?

* Why would she think I would 'drive like a crazy lady all the way to the hospital'? just because I said I'd drive him to the ER myself - I wanted to have my vehicle with me - I'm a careful driver, (aside from having this conversation with myself).

* Why was the EMS lady so rude to the Fire Service Paramedics who got to our house before her? Doesn't she know that stressed out parents really could do without 'attitude' in an emergency? At five in the morning?

* There really are a lot of cars out here. I'm glad I get to stay at home - it would kill me to start a commute this early.



J has croup. Having scared the life out of me, stressed himself out, and received two breathing treatments and three types of oral medicine - he's doing MUCH better. I don't mind telling you though, I was terrified. I've never heard anything like his breathing this morning and I hope I never do again.

I just felt so helpless.

Thank goodness for prompt EMS teams (even if their customer service leaves a lot to be desired), and great ER doctors.

I'll be nervous for a while to come each time either of my kids gets 'just a cold'.

I'm also having a hard time letting go of some of the things the female paramedic said to me today, and more importantly the way in which she said them. Two people I've talked to about it suggest reporting her - but I'm worried if I ever had to call 911 again (God forbid) where that would leave me if she happened to be the one to respond?

I guess I'll just focus on my little man and getting him better and let the other stuff take its less important backseat until I get over it.