tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6361777463921594082.post2595190259177277415..comments2023-09-21T04:18:05.601-05:00Comments on Blooming Marvelous: What am I doing wrong?Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07387168103798629268noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6361777463921594082.post-55507312678545037992008-08-11T10:50:00.000-05:002008-08-11T10:50:00.000-05:00BOTHER! Have just re-read the post, and realise th...BOTHER! Have just re-read the post, and realise that I didn't read it carefully enough first time round, with the result that I have burbled on about a strategy that you have already tried. SORRY.Iota https://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6361777463921594082.post-53752466487883993382008-08-11T10:47:00.000-05:002008-08-11T10:47:00.000-05:00Hm Maybe tough measures are called for. On occasio...Hm Maybe tough measures are called for. On occasion, I have had to be really mean to my children, and have felt awful, but it shows them you mean business. You have to do it definitely and fairly. Example: my second son at E's age was being 'challenging', so I discussed with him on several occasions that he would not be able to go bowling with his big brother for his big brother's birthday, unless things changed. I gave him loads of warnings. Eventually, at an appropriate moment, when I was feeling calm and he was misbehaving, I gave him a couple of last warnings, and then said "right, that's it, you can't come to the party". He didn't seem to mind too much (perhaps he's a good actor or perhaps he thought I didn't mean it), but I followed through and it helped (for a while, at least).<BR/><BR/>How about this? Find something that E really loves and use it. eg say "if you can't behave at the swimming pool, you will have to miss a week". Explain to her that she is old enough to understand, and go through exactly what you expect from here, what is acceptable and unacceptable. Then if she plays up, follow through, and when swimming day comes round the following week, tell her she's not going and remind her why.<BR/><BR/>You have to be firm with boundaries, and as consistent as you you can. She is trying to find out who is in control, and ultimately she will be a lot more secure if she can find out it is you, and she can relax. <BR/><BR/>I also agree with LAIKI - removing from the situation if you can is a good strategy.<BR/><BR/>Does that help? If it doesn't feel right for you and E, then go with your own intuitions. You know your own child, as they say.Iota https://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6361777463921594082.post-23803124964947260202008-08-09T23:37:00.000-05:002008-08-09T23:37:00.000-05:00Don't be too hard on yourself. If there's one thi...Don't be too hard on yourself. If there's one thing I've learned from parenting, it's that we can not take credit for their best successes, nor can we take the blame for their worst failures. Stick it out, stand firm, and alert her teachers to what's going on. Fore warned is fore armed, as they say.Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00653383372182667361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6361777463921594082.post-32158988589179116312008-08-08T15:05:00.000-05:002008-08-08T15:05:00.000-05:00You aren't doing anything wrong!This too shall pas...You aren't doing anything wrong!<BR/>This too shall pass.<BR/><BR/>What worked for me was completely removing him from the situation if he was having a meltdown. I'd put him in his room or bed and would tell him he could come back when he had a smile on his face.<BR/><BR/>I still use that line...come back when you have a smile on your face. <BR/>Good luck and hang in there!Life As I Know Ithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09492465378321819342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6361777463921594082.post-17725599192122796012008-08-08T11:22:00.000-05:002008-08-08T11:22:00.000-05:00It's TOTALLY the age! Ella went through it a few ...It's TOTALLY the age! Ella went through it a few months ago. I figured whoever had coined the term "terrible twos" was obviously on kid number one and hadn't been there yet. Ella grew out of it, but I did use the ticket system: http://www.momadvice.com/blog/2008/03/just-call-me-ticketmaster.htm<BR/><BR/>Seems to work well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com